Nine Words

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4, 2009

Nine Words

Please forgive me as I never say the word "Pissed"...I type it instead! (Big belly laugh). Seriously, I do not have a potty mouth but you know what? Sometimes I do get pissed and I'm not sorry here, that I did say and mean it! With the crap I've been through with the laptop virus and the stress of work and dieting it's been sheer heck! I've needed a diversion and lo' and behold, I found it at my doctors office. I always read through his magazines and sometimes he lets me take one home if I form an attachment to it. On the day that I went for a check-up for my bronchitis, I noticed that he had put a framed list on his wall. I took it down and read it and was so tickled. When he walked in he asked me what I thought about it and I told him that I adored him for putting it up for his patients to see. He's such a dear old gent and now I know that he definately knows women!

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE:

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is Only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine" (see # 1).

4. GO AHEAD : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of NOTHING).

6. THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. THAT'S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say, "You're welcome." (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says, "THANK'S A LOT"- that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say, "You're Welcome." that will bring on a "WHATEVER".

8. WHATEVER: This is a woman's way of saying....Well, use your imagination here.

9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" ( For the woman's response, refer to # 3).

Hopefully the man in your life is educated about this terminology. We KNOW that we are right...ALL THE TIME!