Los Maples

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010

Lost Maples, Found Peace

Marshall and I drove to Vanderpool on Wednesday morning to visit Lost Maples Park. He took me because I think he wants to make sure that I see and do everything I've had on my bucket list. We are living prayer to prayer these days. Some days are a virtual Hell and somedays, He gives me the strength to put a smile on my face. I have not felt right about crying..almost as if I shouldn't be doing that.

One of my Blogger friends sent me a beautiful email the other day and I will quote a portion of her letter..."Deanna, you should never have guilt about shedding tears. Our Lord suffered on the Cross for our sins. He must have shed tears as well. He asked "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Deanna, He bears our griefs and carries our sorrows. Through your tears, you show the Lord that you need and want Him. He has the power to heal. Praise Him always even when you are at your lowest ebb." Well, I fought hard not to cry because this was just so thoughtful of her to send that to me. Crying makes my condition worse but sometimes, the tears just fall and I know I am in for some horrible hours of stinging pain and decreased vision. For one who used to cry at the drop of a hat, now has to harden herself to keep from doing so. My family feels helpless. I don't want them to feel that way. This is my struggle and only the Lord knows the outcome. I will follow but there will be some tears along the way.

He has set the path for me so long ago. There have been rough spots along the way and some parts of the path that have been pebble free. I should always thank Him for the lessons learned from the large stones that cross the path of my life.

I've seen his glorious works.

Everything that He created has a purpose.

He used His majestic hand to create beauty.

He must have loved every color in the rainbow for He can make many colors from seven.

He is strong. He is ever present in my world. I give Him praise and thanks.

He knows me. He guided my hand and my eyes to capture His wondrous gifts.

He lives Above me. In me. I am never alone because with His right hand, He saves me.

His arms give me comfort. In prayer, I am close to Him. He envelopes my soul with love and warmth.

He knows when I am tired and when I have had enough. He allows me to see His hand reaching out to me. His light touches me.

We are many in this world but today it was just the three of us. Marshall, myself and our Lord.

He, who is Almighty, can break though the hardest wall of grief and sorrow and send us a message of Peace. "You are not alone. I am here."

I look upward and marvel at the azure sky, feeling my sorrows drifting away.

He comes near again. He is reaching out toward me. I didn't know how much I was loved. Does He know how much I love Him?

Dry my river of tears O Lord for you know that I can no longer bear the sting of that pain. I can sustain the hurt through silence because I will sing your praises when the hour is dark.

My sight is lost for now....lying dormant until you say..." I heal thee" I rejoice in your will. I will not question anymore.....

.........for you have shown me that You are never away from me. Your love is upon me. You have set the seal of your Cross to shine in my presence, a promise to me that you made long ago that I, would one day be with you.

I wait the day until I can be with You. I am closer to the end of my path and O how blessed lovely it will be to see the other side.

I hope Lord, that you will place a maple tree in my little peace of Heaven. It will be my Tree of Life. For every leaf that I turn, will be proof of the Earthly life you gave to me. I hope that it will also bear the proof of my enduring love for You. Without You, I would have not have weathered the past three months. Thank you for this day that we spent with you. I am eternally grateful. Today you gave me laughter, grace and peace.

Out of my car window and still the beauty of His creation is upon us. Goodbye Lost Maples, until next year.

Deanna