Timeless Me: A Tornado

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. We sort of celebrated by watching The Ten Commandments. I have never missed a single year since it started showing on television so it has become a family ritual. Of course, I could buy it and watch it when ever I want to but it's not the same as being around your family in the living room, snuggled with a blanket and pillow and eating snacks!

I suffered at slight set back with my eyes. I can tell you that I am honestly am sick and tired of this. I've made my peace with God. I don't want to be hospitalized for this again. I'm fighting back hard because if I don't, I will wither up and die. This past September, Marshall and I were going to start painting and adding things to our new home. I was so excited because I was finally going to have a two week vacation to enjoy making my home lovely. Then my corneal rejection started the first week of September. Agony for six months. Done! I am so done! Several weeks ago, I told myself that no matter what, I was not going to let anything take me to the bottom again.

For six and half months, my life felt so out of control and no matter how much I pretended to be "okay"...I wasn't. Only two people know the depths of despair that I went through. I am putting this out here because I have made close bonds with some of you and because you have always been truthful with me about your situations, I am going to be truthful with you as well. What felt like hell these past seven months have really made me appreciate the life that I have. The life that God has given me is beautiful. I have been given two gifts, faith and patience. I know I do not have to explain that to you.

I love this photo. It looks like what my life has been for a while.

These photos were taken in Dr. F's darkened exam room. I was in agony. I could barely keep my eyes open. I had to lighten the photos because you could barely see my face.

A week later, Dr. F notices a big difference in the way my face in free of pain. Eyes are opened a bit wider. My rosacea is visible but is very much under control. It is almost completely out of my eyes.

Friday. I can look up without flinching or wincing in pain. Driving has been without pain. I don't gasp anymore when I am next to an extremely white car. I don't have to wear double sunglasses. Headlights in the morning do not make me scream in pain.

I think that taking control of my life was paramount to my eyes healing. I think I had given up. How sad. Two weeks ago, I went to have lunch and shop a bit with my sweet Patricia (Vintage Linen Treasures) and I struggled with myself whether or not to share what had been my despair. She asked that one important question and I knew that it was time to share. She may never know the relief I felt in releasing what I had held in for so long. That she was there for me when she and her family had just lost a family member, made me love her even more. I hope that she knows how much I care about her.

So, on to the fun part! Even though I can't get time off for any kind of vacation due to my missing almost five months of work, I am taking my time to start my plans for painting and decorating our home for the next three months. I have started painting. Ladies, if you can afford it, hire someone to paint for you. I forgot how tiring and taxing it can be. I painted my parents home once and I don't remember being so exhausted and so very sore. My knees are so bony so it's really difficult to work around the baseboards to try and cut in the paint down there.

I'm starting in the dining room.

I wanted a soft dove gray. I have that cute tulip chandelier from Ironside that Marshall took out of layaway for me. He totally surprised me! He was going down to make a payment and when I got home from work, it was sitting on the carpet in the living room. I love that man!

Anyway, I'm going for shabby chic cottage in my home so I really wanted that gray with glossy white crown molding. Well, off we went to Home Depot and bought the mini samples of the choices we picked. We slapped the four samples on the wall. I had to really look at them carefully. I already did not like the Glidden paint color. It looked like a baby blue. It was weird. The Behr sample was awful. It made that section of my wall look like one of those metal warehouses you see alongside the road when you are traveling through a small town. The top left Martha Stewart color was really nice but way too dark for what I wanted. I decided that I would use that color to paint one accent wall in Marshall's bathroom. Our last sample was another Martha Stewart color. It was love at first roll.

We decided that we would have to leave those samples on the wall for a couple of days to see what they look like in different light.

How did I get the word "Cool" on there twice? Trust me, that lower left color was definitely not "Cool."

I sent these photos to my friend Steffi in Germany and she says, "Deanna, I love your tan walls. Why are you painting? It's a great color. Looks like coffee with milk in it." and by God, she was right. Except that my walls are not tan. They are white. I had not noticed that the photos had made the walls take on a different color than what they actually were. You can see the difference if you look at the photo above with the four spots of color. That is the real color.